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The blame game is over. The victim version of me has come and gone. I am a survivor. I am the hero(ine) of my story. I am the leading wo(man) of this movie. I’m the creator of my own life.
Failings, fallings, and shortcomings are a necessity in every hero(ine)’s journey, but so is the resurrection.
My souls’ life adventure is unique to my souls’ transformational process.
“Why did I come here?”
“What did I come here to experience?”
“Who did I come here to meet?”
“What did I come here to learn?”
There’s no wrong answer. There’s no perfect life. There’s no universal map to “x”. My path is my own to discover. My journey is my own to face. My life is my own adventure.
My life is my own to own.
1. I am my responsibility: Discovering who I am, loving who I am, and learning to trust myself is solely my responsibility.
2. I control my own actions, words, and choices: The only thing that is truly within my control are my own actions, words, and choices. No one controls me. I control no one. I’m an adult now. The blame game is over. While something that affects me maybe someone else’s doing, my life and my happiness are solely my responsibility to manage. Sometimes that means walking away.
3. My actions, words, and life choices are a representation of who I am: When I speak of ideas, events, or other people those words are a representation of me, not others. When others speak of ideas, events, or me their words are a representation of them, not me. My life choices represent who I am, not others. The life choices of others are a representation of who they are, not me.
4. I belong to no one. No one owns me: Relationships are not equivalent to ownership. I am the property of no one. No one is my property. I am obligated to no one’s ideologies, belief systems, religions or preconceived expectations of me, my life, and how I should be living it. The moment I claim ownership or give over sovereignty of self I have navigated away from precepts #1 and #2 and this path leads to anger, sadness, disappointment, resentment, and victimhood. The victim state of mind (within me) ends here and now. When I show up, I show up consciously, intentionally, and of my own free will. I show up because I choose to.
5. My emotions and feelings are not me, they flow through me: I cannot control my emotions/feelings any more than I can control the world around me. I can, however, indirectly influence my emotions/feelings through conscious thought and actions. Where momentum goes, energy flows. My strength (or weakness) to influence my emotions starts with the momentum I create in my thoughts and actions.
6. I am not responsible for the feelings or un-agreed upon expectations of others: I am not responsible for another human being’s insecurities, doubts, fears, or happiness. Another person’s emotions and feelings are completely and utterly out of my control. Nor am I responsible for fulfilling or managing the un-agreed upon expectations of others. However, I do acknowledge I can (and oftentimes do) directly or indirectly impact the world around me through my words and actions. I am responsible for myself but I do have a responsibility to others. I respect the power I wield and I choose to honor and embody the laws of love to the best of my ability. As above, so below. As within, so without.
7. Loving (honoring) someone else should never require me to not love (dishonor) myself: I cannot control who loves me or who I love as it relates to emotions or feelings, but I can control my actions as it pertains to love (as a verb). When I am asked to, or I choose to do something, out of love, that action (if it truly is out of love) will never require me to dishonor the love I have for myself.
8. All I truly have to offer another person is knowledge, experience, or empathy: Don’t do for someone else what they can do for themselves. Offer experience, offer knowledge, offer wisdom, offer empathy but don’t intentionally deny anyone their opportunities for growth and expansion. Discerning the difference between a helping hand and an enabling hand is discerning the difference between kindness and a slow process of painful cruelty towards the person in need and myself.
9. No one person is entirely good or bad. We are all multifaceted and complex beings: I am not a good person. I am not a bad person. I’m human. I’m a soul living out a human experience, my human experience. Viewing and labeling any single person or group of people as “good” or “bad” blinds me from seeing them in whole as they are. Putting people in a box may make me feel more comfortable and safe, but this narrow view set’s me up for [potential] unnecessary discomfort, heartache, and even danger. And, me trying to consistently fit myself in the “good person” box is unrealistic, even delusional, and sets me up for certain disappointment.
10. What belongs to me can never truly leave and what doesn’t belong to me cannot stay for long: Change is a part of life. My fears of letting go, my struggle to hold on to the familiar, creates a blockage in my own growth process. My blessings are waiting for me to create space for them. The only person who does not experience challenges is a dead person. It does not serve me to aspire in life with a dead person’s goals.
11. Everything that happens, happens for me, not to me: With hindsight, it is clear to see that even my darkest times and most challenging hardships brought their own set of gifts. Whatever life brings next…. Whatever I bring to this life…. I will breathe it in. The love, the joy, the excitement, the sadness, the grief, the fear. My soul came here to experience life, I will let it.
12. I was purposefully put here on earth to take up space: While I will continuously strive to be the highest version of myself, I need no one’s permission or approval to be fully authentically me.
13. Discernment is my superpower: My greatest strength and my greatest weakness will be in my powers of discernment. My willingness and intentional practice of examining my life, and all that wish to enter, with unattached objectivity. To see my world as it is, not how I wish it was so that I can create the reality I desire most on a solid foundation of intentionally well-nurtured discernment.
