A few years ago, a friend was going through a challenging loss—a breakup. I’d recently experienced the same and understood the abrupt shift from ‘we’ to ‘I.’ She asked how I got through it and moved on so quickly. That question, for the first time, inspired me to reflect more deeply on my experiences with loss.

I started journaling, capturing the micro-lessons loss had left me with through the years. This book is a result of that reflection—a narrative of hindsight. ‘How To Lose’ is my story of loss, failure, and missteps. This is my experience with acknowledging pain, processing it, and moving forward.

You won’t find any toxic positivity here, no pretending the loss didn’t happen or the hurt didn’t exist. Because it did happen, it was painful, sometimes excruciating. No giving credit where credit isn’t due. I made me who I am. Not my losses, challenges, or the a**holes of the world.

It takes a special kind of magic to transmute thrown stones into flames, igniting a life of passion and art. No more pretending or deflecting. It’s time to light up the world. Because this world needs more people who feel deeply, who lose with intention, and who choose to show up alongside their heartache.

That’s how love shows up, and we can all benefit from more of that. Love creates a safe space for those moments when the outside world seems mad and times uncertain. The more we practice creating and saving space for ourselves to show up authentically and intentionally, the greater our capacity to be that safe haven for others when they need it most.