Begin The Journey
Chapter 3: Return To Love
Chapter 3
Return To Love
Return To Love
Have you noticed how elusive inner child work can feel? It asks us to be a healthy parent to our inner child, all while our culture provides little to no examples of how a healthy parent behaves. The childhood trauma and neglect, often inflicted by the adults in our lives, is what brought us back to our inner child and the childhood most of us missed out on. We had to sink or swim in the task of raising ourselves, being held to higher expectations than the adults performatively adulting. Can you relate?
Inner child work asks that we visualize our inner child and tell them they’re safe before we’re taught how to establish safety within. Our inner child knows better, and so do we, than to believe someone who prematurely says, “You’re safe with me.”
A safe person doesn't tell you you're safe with them; they show you.
The unhealthy childhood experiences of what parenting looks like can show up in surprising areas of our lives. They manifest in our inner dialogue, partnerships, friendships, religion, politics, and yes, even in how we view leadership. It’s essential to recognize these patterns and work to untangle them.
So, how do we untangle these patterns? How do we become healthy and safe adults, inside and out?
Let’s reframe the narrative. Shall we? No children allowed. From this moment forward, we’ll be having adult conversations in an adult space. Are you ready? Here we go. The reframe is this.
PSYCHE & CONSCIOUSNESS
What would a good lover do?
When we envision a good lover, how do they show up?
empathetic, understanding, supportive, encouraging, trustworthy, respectful, honest, affectionate, consistent & reliable, flexible, generous, appreciative, thoughtful, considerate, attentive, open-minded, self-aware, forgiving, empowering, inspirational, curious, and compassionate
What would a good lover never do?
When we envision a poor lover, how do they show up?
abusive, controlling, manipulative, dismissive, neglectful, demeaning, rude, vindictive, selfish, unreliable, dishonest, insensitive, closed-minded, passive-aggressive, possessive, critical, jealous, arrogant, inconsiderate, or unsupportive
Spirituality, despite popular opinion, isn’t something we show up for once or twice a week. It’s a lifestyle. Spirituality is about showing up within, with presence, as best we can in each moment of the day. Do you require spirit to leave when you’re parenting, working, or with your partner? Or do you hold spirit near in every aspect of your life? When you’re with yourself, in your own mind, is spirit required to leave, or is spirit invited to witness, guide, and assist?
We can tell how much Psyche loves herself by the partner she chooses, by what she creates and saves space for.
This is part of the work of creating and saving space for consciousness. When we practice showing up as a good lover towards ourselves, we begin to learn how to love ourselves. We also become an example of how someone who loves themselves shows up in the world.
CALL TO ACTION
Add to the list. What would a good lover do? How would a good lover show up?
Now, show up for yourself. Be a good lover. Embody Psyche, creating and saving space for her lover – Consciousness.
If the list is too big, start with one or two. Consider starting with curiosity and compassion and practice for one week. Show up in all the moments of your life with curiosity and compassion, no matter the situation. Be the light. Witness the darkness flare up, then fade away.
